We the willing...

We the willing, lead by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long with so little, that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

Anonymous, but classic...

Regards,

Imp;)

Why men wear earrings...

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him>to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

BF2 Fscking Rocks! :-)

It took a little bit of convincing, but finally my conscience gave into my repeated demands for a new video card... mwah ha ha ha. The ATI Radeon X800 Pro is 256mb of sweet v-card candy that give you an atavistic thrill the second you hear it's multibladed fan spin up like the engine in an F-16 fighter... S W E E T ! ! ! :-D

And, Battlefield 2 simply rocks. There is no other way to describe this game. You're running, driving, or flying around fragging others from around the world... and yes, being fragged in turn. Hopefully less than you're doing... lol

Two thumbs up; gladly would it give it more praise had I but more thumbs!

Regards,

Imp;-)

Divemaster; The End is Nigh...

So, this weekend I finished up the academic portion of my Divemaster certification. Two weekends, 7 tests (lowest mark was 85%, highest 100%) and a crapload of work in the pool.

Now that this is all done, I have only the Internship, as well as the stamina portions to go.

Wish me luck; the stamina ones especilly. 400 metres freeswimming is worse than it sounds. :-\

Regards,

Imp;)

The iPod Shuffle Rocks...

There is something so surreal about sitting in the office, having the iPod Shuffle plugged into my computer speakers... and having Iron Maiden follow Patsy Cline in a playlist... ;-)

Regards,

Imp;)

Calm

Calm,
originally uploaded by The Imp;-).

Fridays always inspire this massively impressive feeling of calm and tranquility. No matter how bad the day goes (and I have a performance review this afternoon!), in only a few more hours, I'll be sitting on my back deck, sipping on a beer, puffing on a good cigar, and contemplating the nature of the three hottie college girls that live across the alley. ;) Just kidding. I normally sit out on the front deck anyways.

This weekend is going to be another busy one. The Divemaster course continues; I should have the acedemics done by Saturday afternoon, that will leave naught but a few skills left to show, and the dreaded 400 metre free-swim with time limit. :-| Methinks I need to get my ass into the pool for some practice. :-\

Well, no rest for the wicked, nor for those of us whom support their efforts. ;-)

Regards,

Imp;)

Send in the Hot Nekkid Chicks! ;-)

I have been living completely alone now for about four years now, unless of course you count the cat. I find myself thinking that since the Australian Thing™ fell through, and I'm going to be staying in Toronto for the foreseeable future, I should probably look at getting a roommate.

Currently, I am renting a 3-bedroom house in an area of Toronto called the Studio District. This is where pretentious left-wing moonbats work on low-budget and no-budget movie and television shows. It's also the riding of Jack Layton, which makes me one of only three Conservatives in the area, but I digress...

There is also a basement apartment in the house, where in fact I used to live, and I'm responsible for keeping it rented out, collecting the rent, etc. So, naturally enough, I have the master bedroom to myself, and I've turned the smallest bedroom into an office. That leaves the bedroom at the end of the hall, and while it's not huge, by Toronto standards it's fairly decent. I was originally thinking that I would turn it into a bit of a photography studio, but am being entranced by the thought of having someone pay me $600 / month to stay there... ok, I will take $500/month if she is a supermodel going to chef school, but then I've always found it a good thing to remain flexible. ;-)

So, last night I went and crafted an ad to post on www.roomates.com; they do in fact have a Canuck section, and while I'm not going to hold out for a Supermodel, I'll at least aim for someone with decent hygiene and no criminal record. ;-)

I'll have to remember to take some photos of the place tonight to post.

Regards,

Imp;)

The incredibly re-appearing Minolta...

Long story... sorry. ;-)

It was the middle of last summer and some friends of mine whom are newbie divers wanted to go diving/camping up in Tobermory, Ontario. We filled up the cars with appropriate dive and camping gear, and off we went on a nice balmy friday afternoon. We set up our tents / campsite, and headed out to the divestore in downtown Tobermory the next morning. I was the most experienced diver with about 60 dives under my belt at the time.

My friends get kitted out with rental gear, and we head down to the harbour to load onto the boat.

Now, I was buddied up with 'B', a wee slip of a lass whom, while she WAS an experienced diver, had never dived locally in Ontario, which can have temps well down in the 40's, even into the summer, under the thermoclines. She had about 50 dives, IIRC. She also had an exotic 'adventure' dive while getting certified down in Aus, but this IS a family-friendly board, so that story will remain untold. ;-)

My friend 'M' was buddied up with 'C', and friends of theirs, 'D' and 'L', were buddied up as well.
'M' has always had a bit of a thing for photography, and so had bought a housing for his tiny Minolta credit-card type P&S digital camera. The housing attached to his wrist by a shoe-lace thickness lanyard. I distinctly remember telling him to get a snappy coil at some point.

Anyways, long story short(er), the first dive site was a bit of a mess; 'B' had no issues whatsoever in cold water, while 'C', 'L' and 'D' were complete and utter idjiots. newbie divers whom were barely post-certified, and I'm not entirely sure that they even should have been after seeing them in the water.

During the Fun & Games at the surface, 'C' kicked 'M's camera with a fin... causing the lanyard to snap, and off into the darkness of Georgian Bay sinks the $800 CDN camera/housing combo.

After we got the skill-impaired back onto the boat, 'M', 'B' and myself did a cursory search, but alas, no camera to be found. 'M' wanted me to drop my camera so we could see where it ended up but I graciously declined. ;-)

We went on to the second and third dives of the day, however we changed the original plan in order to make them in nice, shallow and protected bays where there were still some wrecks. More importantly, the conditions were as benign as possible as we had a impromptu Basic Scuba Skills clinic. (On a side note, this is probably what motivated me more than anything towards getting my Rescue and now Divemaster ratings, which I'm now about halfway through... DMIT! :-D

Interesting weekend all around, including the games of 'I Never' around the campfire in the evening, but I digress... 'M' ends up buying the exact same camera and housing again, though I swear I tried to talk him into something in the Canon or Olympus lines. *sigh*

Fast forward to yesterday, almost a year later.

This spring, while putting down the moorings for the various wrecks up at Tobermory (Fathom Five Underwater Reserve), a dive shop came across 'M's camera... scratched up to be sure after spending almost a year on the bottom in the rocks and silt and mud, but not flooded. They took it back to the shop, opened it up and voila! It actually turned on. Well, briefly, from what I understand. They took out the card, and looked at the pictures... 'M' had taken one of the boat before boarding, and using the time/date stamp on the file, after contacting the operator, found out whom had chartered the boat that weekend. And, so 'M' gets a phone call yesterday. And I get an email that starts out "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

I think he should contact Minolta... that's a customer success story if I've ever heard one. ;-)

Regards,

Imp;)

I live in the wrong country, damnit.

I live in the wrong country, damnit.,
originally uploaded by The Imp;-).

Sometimes, you just have to sit back and remember one of your perfect mornings. This was one of mine, back in the Bahamas, a couple years ago.

The sun lit the sky on fire... and the rest of the day turned out damn fine too.

Regards,

Imp;)

Happiness, thy name is Patio Weather™

Some things don't work in B&W...,
originally uploaded by The Imp;-).

I had a very good weekend. Some friends of mine, for the sake of annonymity we'll call them M & T, were in visiting from Edmonton this past weekend. T had to do the Magazine Art Director conference most of the time, so M and I spent Thursday walking around the city with our cameras, sitting on the odd patio, drinking cold beer and watching the city walk by.

Saturday, T had finished up her conference, so we went out for brunch before heading down to Queen Street West for window shopping and more patio action. We closed the evening off with a visit to my favourite tappas bar for supper than it was off to Easy & The Fifth for more alcoholic festivities.

Oy vey, the hangovers I get now. ;-)

Sunday, I saw them off to the airport. M had left a pair of reasonably expensive shoes behind, I noticed once I had returned to my house. Given that his feet are size 13, this wasn't the windfall you'ld expect, damn him. ;) I'll have to mail 'em out to him.

As we go into the end of June, we enter one of the Hell Times™ at work. Quarter End is never fun, and the summer Quarters less so than the others. :-\

Buddy, can you spare a quarter mil?

Regards,

Imp;)

Reasonably Humourous Thing for Today™

A newfoundlander, sitting at the bar in New York City, looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes.

The women sitting nearby notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

No" he replies "I have this state-of -the -art watch. I was just testing it"

The intrigued women says, "A-state-of -the-art watch? Whats so special about it?"

The Newfoundlander explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says "What is it telling you now?"”Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The women giggles and replies,Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

The Newfoundlander smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's running about an hour and half fast, can I buy you a drink?"

How's your taste in music?

Your Taste in Music:

80's Rock: Highest Influence

80's Pop: High Influence

90's Pop: High Influence

Classic Rock: High Influence

80's Alternative: Medium Influence

90's Alternative: Medium Influence

90's Rock: Medium Influence

Adult Alternative: Medium Influence

Hair Bands: Medium Influence

Progressive Rock: Medium Influence

80's R&B: Low Influence

90's Hip Hop: Low Influence

Alternative Rock: Low Influence

Country: Low Influence

Dance: Low Influence

Old School Hip Hop: Low Influence

Punk: Low Influence

Ska: Low Influence

How's" Your Taste in Music?

...some things work in B&W.

...some things work in B&W.,
originally uploaded by The Imp;-).

Not all shots work in B&W. Sometimes, it's a disaster; and sometimes, it works out better than you thought it would. ;) This is one of those times.

Regards,

Mark

Reasonably Humourous Thingy for Today™

The only cow in a small town in Alberta, Canada, stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a cow up in Melfort, Saskatchewan, for $200. They bought the cow from Saskatchewan and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again. They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the local veterinarian, who was very wise, what to do. They told the vet what was happening.

"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away" they said. "If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she walks away to the other side."

The veterinarian thinks about this for a minute and asks, "Did you buy this cow in Saskatchewan?" The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Saskatchewan?"

The veterinarian replied, with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Saskatchewan."