Reasonably Humourous Thingy of the Day (ish) ;-)

From Another Website:

A compilation on how the various DOD agencies approach a gunfight:

U.S. Marine Corps rules for gunfighting:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quick ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating or reloading.
14. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
15. And above all......don't drop your guard!

Navy SEALS rules for gunfighting:

1. Look very cool in the latest sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Return quickly to looking very cool in latest beach wear.
4. Check hair in mirror.

U.S. Army Rangers rules for gunfighting:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75-pound pack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75-pound pack while starving.

National Guard rules for gunfighting:

1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder.
3. Reconsider the color of beret you decide to wear.

US Air Force rules for gunfighting:

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Discuss definition of "gunfight."

Navy rules for gunfighting:

1. Go to sea.
2. Drink coffee.
3. Send in the Marines